In a Quandary

That’s me. I’m having a dilemma of sorts. You see, I’ve mentioned that I have been a stay-at-home-mom for the past six years. I chose to be one so I could stay home and be there for my family’s needs. Before I made that decision, I weighed the pros and cons for quite sometime.

The time that I’ll be able to spend nurturing my child and helping out my husband while he was writing his dissertation far outweighed the financial and other benefits of me working. So the decision made, I settled quite well into it. But I did not remain idle for long really, added to the duties of caring for a precocious toddler Chinks was at that time, I was still able to earn while I was at home.

I also took up blogging because I found it enjoyable to write down my thoughts and explore my interest on computers, technology and what goes on behind websites and the internet. It has been a very interesting learning experience and I also somehow managed to make a bit of earning from the blogs I set-up since 2007.

So what changed? My daughter Chinkee is now seven and I’ve noticed she has become increasingly independent and as much as that saddens me a little , I understand that this was bound to happen, so I find myself accepting and I am glad to see her growing. She’s also scheduled to be on full-day class by next term, so that leaves me with lots of time for myself now. Hi-ace is also scheduled to be in a leadership training from September to December this year somewhere in US and another three months probably in Hong Kong or China.

Everyone seems to be busy now and I finally get to have the chance to stop and think what I want to do now. I’ve already decided to pursue another degree through an open university in the Philippines. That’s one of my reasons why I will be going home in July so I could process the papers I’ll be needing. I’m going to apply for enrolling for a diploma in computer science and hopefully once I’m done I can continue on for a Master’s in information technology. I’m crossing my fingers and hoping this will all happen as I’ve planned.

Since the studying thing can be done via distance learning, I’m also thinking if I should be joining the rat race again..Should I look for a job and start sending out resumes? What would I be giving up if really jump into it? Would anyone even want to hire me? Is this a good time to look for work here in Phnom Penh? I know being out of that 8-5 schedule changed my perceptions. Before I became a SAHM I was something of a work o’ holic.  I was with the customer care team of a telecoms in the Philippines, and I eventually moved to the business hub/marketing team for even more pressured work. After I gave birth, I joined an international bank’s credit card processing team for their North American clients, again a very stressful type of work. So I seem to have an adequate experience but still lol! I find myself asking these questions again and again.. And no answer seems to be coming. Hi-ace says, I should think about it well and go for what would really make me happy. He’s also suggesting I start a small business here to keep me occupied, but right now I have yet to really learn about the place and the locals..

One thing I am certain of, whether I end up deciding to find work again or go into business or something else, I’ll surely still be keeping my blogs. In fact, its another option I’m considering. To actually turn blogging and website development into a full-time  business. Hmmm, I’m praying really hard and thinking hard as well so I can make the best decision for myself and for everyone..

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