A Little Rant From A Stay-at-Home-Mom

I was unsure about posting this on a Monday morning. Ranting is something that I rarely do coz I’m the type of person to easily let things pass, to resolve things diplomatically and I don’t usually get too affected by what is going on. I’m usually cool-tempered but once I’m piqued I can also be an obstinate enemy.

But I figured this is something that I feel strongly about and I might as well get it out so it would more or less free me of stress and bad feelings. You see, I had been a stay-at-home-mom for about six years already. It’s a choice I made, it was not forced on me by my husband, he stands by me because it was a choice I made. If ever I decide to go back and join the rat race again, I’m 100% sure he’d back me up too.

Ever since I started to stay at home and actively take care of my family I have gotten used to comments already from I think well-meaning relatives and friends who can’t help but say.. “Why are just staying home? What about your degree? You’re just wasting it!” or  “Why don’t you get a job?” or “You’re putting yourself in the backburner etc”, the variations could actually go on and on..

I even have an aunt who makes it a point to always drop by our house in the Philippines whenever she’s in town just to give me a lecture. I just took things in stride probably because they were used to seeing me always on the go and stressed about a job. And they must have meant well too, it just that I also think they were really being totally insensitive. I’ve also gradually became immune to remarks like this already.

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Reminders to Self..

I’m slacking off, I know. Not with blogging though, I’m pleased to say since February I’ve been posting regularly hahaha. I dunno, it just helps me cope with homesickness and missing my parents back home in the Philippines. It must also be because I know were going home in July. (I hope my mother won’t read this, and for my relatives checking this out, PLS. don’t tell my parents about our vacation in July, its supposed to be a surprise for them)  It should be a secret but I can’t help blabbering about it again, that’s how excited I am about going home for a long vacation. Lol! I just hope they won’t find out in advance so they can enjoy the surprise of seeing Chinkee again. Did I mention they don’t really miss me but only Chinks? Hayy, I’ve resigned myself to being ignored since I gave them a grandchild. Haha, seriously I don’t mind, I find it very amusing though, how my parents dot on my daughter.

Anyway, this post is about reminding myself again what I have to do this March..Some sort of checklist for me, I’m placing it here because it pressures me to accomplish the task.

Home and Shopping..

• Look for an area rug and some of those Khmer style floor/sitting cushions.
• Look for a door chime or maybe make one myself.
• Nag Graciously ask Hi-ace about painting or tiling the front stairs.
• Re-pot my bougainvilleas.
• Visit Boeung Keng Kang Market again and hunt for 4 panels of embroidered curtains.
• Shop for tank top shirts or thin cotton shirts. Should not get sidetracked with cute kid stuff =)
• Look for a backpack. I can’t find my other bag and I need one before the 26th.

Crafts..

• Check O’Russey Market for some seed beads. Japanese or Czech variety will do.
• Also for some beading thread.
• Continue downloading beading patterns.
• Make some beading patterns with my bead tool.
• Search for suppliers of polymer clay online. I had no luck finding it here in Phnom Penh, hayy!

Web and Blogging

• Finish uploading plugins to my new blog – Lui-Bloggera.
• Update other blogs.
• Finish TaskWise schedule reminders.
• Upload free ad spot banners and headers. (I keep forgetting this!!)
• Visit and read more blogs..

Important (yeah  these are really important)

• More cardio exercises.. jumping rope go, go, go!
• Veggies and fruits only for dinner. I should go with this strictly. lol!
• Buy dumbbells.

A Laid-Back Weekend..

I had a really good and fun weekend and thinking about it, living in Phnom Penh have mellowed me down a bit. Before in Manila, I used to be always out and about, rarely staying in the house, always stressed out about business, the traffic and the smog. That’s what I love about Phnom Penh now, life is at an unhurried pace, I get to have leisurely walks, coffee and gossip with Filipina friends, explore Phnom Penh’s bargain havens. In short, I’m more relaxed now, enjoying and appreciating things the way they should be enjoyed. But be forewarned, I’m in a story-telling mood, so this post is rather long..

Friday..

Met the Fabulous Pinay’s of Phnom Penh (haha! yeah I call them that..) Zarah, Josiet, and Che (blog ka na ulit, Che so I could link ) @ our now fave hangout Brown Cafe. After about 2 hours of girl talk, we all decided to have lunch at Khmer restaurant – Sugar Palm along St 240. Hmmm, food was bland and a bit pricey so I must say I have tasted better stuff. But then again, the company was great so I forgot about the not-so-good food.

After lunch, we went off to check boutiques along St. 240. Love this street, definitely a fashionista’s haven with elegant boutiques and Cambodian silk and product stores along the sides. Then, we checked Diva boutique along St. 57 , well a bit pricey but they do carry  a good selection of brands like Bebe, Guess etc, though they tend to stock on teeny weeny sizes.

After Diva, we all went different ways and Che invited me to meet her cutie daughter Isabelle. Their place is just a few meters walk so I happily agreed. Met the pretty doll-like Isabelle. I also got to hitch-hike home with Che’s nice help, Pheary who lives near my place. That must be my lucky day =).

After a few hours rest at home, my sister wanted to check out City Mall, Phnom Penh’s latest shopping heavyweight, right beside Olympic Stadium. We roamed around the mall, and seriously, I’ve been there a couple of times, but the layout still mystify’s me and I always manage to get lost several times each visit. We got so exhausted and ended up having dinner at Pizza World coz Chinks was demanding to eat spaghetti..

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Living in Phnom Penh: A Simple Christmas..

I’m feeling the side effects of Christmas. =) Wallet is almost empty haha, I can’t seem to fit my jeans and I’m obsessively browsing for the latest ellipticals so I could plan to buy it to help me with my gain weight struggle. That is, it usually ends up with just browsing and planning haha!

Anyway, Christmas has been fun albeit a quieter one. This is the second Christmas we have celebrated here in Phnom Penh and though I miss the rowdy, and really festive Christmas we used to have in the Philippines, I think I’ve also gotten used to the way we celebrate it here. It’s one of the things I had to adjust to.. Living in Cambodia means celebrating Christmas in a quieter but still meaningful way. The most important thing is that I’m with Hi-ace and Chinks and on Christmas eve I was still able to talk for about an hour to my family in Bicol, Philippines.

The last week was spent shopping for presents and it was a bit difficult coz of the schedules. I had to shop while Chinks was not home which is hard coz she’s in school mostly mornings and shops open late 10 am so I don’t get much time and I had to keep most stuff from her. I hate spoiling surprises! She had a lot of fun though and was really happy about the presents she got. I also had to prepare stuff for her school Christmas party (which is really annoying if you ask me coz they scheduled it December 24th).

December 23, we also visited some Khmer friends we met in Manila and we had some sort of impromtu get together. Then we went off for dinner with another Pinay friend at a Filipino resto and as usual Hi-ace and his best friend feasted on sinigang and crispy pata and I was of course tempted to steal a few bites.. Bad bad for the diet!

December 24 was a quiet day for us. I cooked Chinkee’s fave foods in the morning. She told me she’ll die if she doesn’t eat spaghetti with lots of hotdogs and cheese on Christmas (she could really be overly dramatic!). Hi-ace still had to go to office and in the afternoon he had to attend a wedding. He came home a bit late and we had our own Christmas celebration. Just the three of us and it was nice. Something we’d want to make a family tradition. Initially, Hi-ace wanted to take us out, have a fancy dinner in some hotel but I wasn’t up to it. I didn’t feel lik e going out and just wanted to cook something we both like and have a quiet dinner at home. Which turned out really better than I thought..

I also made an hour-long call to my parents in Bicol, and it just made me miss them more. It’s my brother’s birthday on the 25th so we usually have a big party at home and they were telling me only us were not present. The only good thing about it is that, Ma told me she’s cooking 3 kinds of pasta, they have beef caldereta plus hordes of desserts so it’s just great I could avoid that though you can imagine me salivating for those stuff we usually have on Christmas eve.

The Christmas day was spent sleeping late for us. I was dead tired and later in the afternoon, we again had to prepare to attend a wedding. I had to go since the mom of the bride is a close friend and work colleague of Hi-ace, so I had to dress up. Why are Khmer’s so sooshyal when attending weddings? Before I did not bother much, I’d just go wearing semi-formal clothes, no makeup but haha this made me standout. Imagine everyone, even just wedding guests wearing glittering gowns and outlandish hairdo’s! So I tried to make effort, at least I put minimal makeup and donned my Khmer dress. At least, the food was delish!

There goes my Christmas for 2009. Hopefully, I could be home in the Philippines for Christmas 2010…

Cheers to Year 2010!

Living in Phnom Penh: Good to Be Back!

Last week has not been a very good one for me. Chinks came home from school last week sneezing and coughing a bit. We brought her to our family doctor and he gave her some medicine for colds and cough and she got better in a few days time. Then, it was my turn to have cold and before I knew it I was running a fever.

What I thought to be something that would go away within a day or two. It’s really a rarity for me to get sick and have to be in bed so I get really cranky and depressed when this happens. I still remember, last time I got sick was in 2007. Same thing, a flu. Anyway, I stayed home most of the time, I had to be indoors coz I’m really prone to asthma and bronchitis whenever I have colds so I try to avoid dust, and its dusty here in Phnom Penh (as in!). I also missed meeting Phnom Penh friends and I was looking forward to some girlie chika-chika..

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Shopping and Meeting Blind Drivers

After having lunch and celebrating the Chinese Mooncake Festival with relatives, Hi-ace went off to school since he has graduate research class to teach. Chinks and I went home but after an hour of boring TV shows, we decided to head off to Sovanna mall to have coffee for me and ice cream for her.

We roamed around the mall and I was thinking of buying a handbag but I feel like their too expensive (the one I liked was $60) when I know that they are just replicas and not really good ones at that. So I put it off and headed to CityMart and bought  slip-on sandals. I loved it, super comfy and costs just $10.

I had an espresso at LuckCafe but Chinks decided she wanted to eat  hamburger with fries. I bought her the pack and geez she could actually finish it. I mean she’s just six but she could work up an appetite like an adult and I was betting she’d be hungry again by the time we get home.

Hubby picked us up around seven pm on a motorbike and we drove home. Then when were just like a block from our house, there came this motorbike out of nowhere, take note with no headlights at night and driving at full speed, and it narrowly missed hitting us. That scared me, coz here its quite common to see motorbikes with headlights on during daytime and no headlights at nightime.  I figured maybe it’s thrilling to drive around without your headlights and these guys probably never heard of hid kits and they have fun driving around like a blind and not caring if they hit somebody. It might be something that we have to learn to get used to but I certainly don’t like it!

A ‘What’s Goin On’ Update..

Things are pretty busy around the house lately. Hubby is up to his neck with office and teaching load and is even tied up during weekends. I have a lot of web and blog projects that I have to finish before October ends. My daughter is in school every morning which allows me to take a breather from home chores and concentrate on my online endeavors.

We’re also filling up the back part of our lot. And here you have to supervise workers if you really want to get your money’s worth. There are contractors too but hubby has been burned about that before so were doing thing the hard way.. We have about 30 sq meters space at our backyard which is low and would usually get filled with water when it rains. So for the past few weeks were doing a mini-reclamation project. Once all is filled up to the same level as the frontyard, well then fence the area.

Were planning to make use of the space, extend the house, with a second floor to house an two more bedrooms and the downstairs part would be roomy kitchen (yipee!!) as well as a spacious dining area. Were also planning on adding two more bathrooms and were currently debating wether to put  walk in tubs or not.

All things are in planning and of course since this is not a small project and we’d be spending a lot on it, we want to have a plan that suits us well. Hopefully, we could start all this mid-2010 or later depending also if the filled-up space is compressed enough.

I know I’ve been really amiss updating as well as even dropping by blogging friends (:D the last time I dropped for Entrecard was hmm 4 months ago??) but I hope things will get a little better around November. I wish I could go back home to the Philippines for Christmas. God knows I really miss my parents, my siblings as well as my friends, I even miss Jollibee, so I’m crossing my fingers and wishing that our conflicting schedules would permit.

:( Just Lost Our Pet

Ever since she turned three, Chinks have been bugging us about having a pet dog. When we were in the Philippines, we decided not to have a pet since we were always out of the house and would also go out of town most weekends. But when we got here in Phnom Penh, we gave in to her request since we thought a dog would be nice companion for her plus she’d be learning about responsibilities once she has a pet to take care of.

Hubby’s bestfriend gave us a puppy, we named her Mai-mai. I’m not sure of her breed, but I’m thinking she’s like a chow-chow. Everything was well and Chinks was really happy with it. She’d wake up early to feed her dog, and what she enjoys the most is giving Mai-mai a bath. I’ve also grown attached to her, I got used to having her snoring beside my feet while I’m working on my computer.

But a few days ago, we lost her. Nope she didn’t die. That’s what really makes me more sad. Someone got it. Early in the morning, she usually goes out of the gate to pee or poop and it would just take a minute or two. But that day she didn’t come back. We looked for her everywhere, but she was gone. We talked to a couple of construction workers and one said they saw a woman and two kids with a cart buying recyclable stuff from our neighbor and got the dog, put it in their cart and off they went.

I feel extremely pissed. Why is that? The dog is obviously well kept, even has her tag, so they must have known it has an owner not a stray dog. I feel all the more bad because Chinks keeps asking for her, sometimes goes out and pretends her dog is there and places food on her bowl. We’ve been trying to comfort her and hopefully she’ll get over it in time. She probably needs to experience something like this one way or another…

We’re thinking of getting another dog, maybe a big one. Hubby says at least that one cannot be easily taken. Why do I feel so emotional about this? I’m sad, really. She has been a part of our home and everyday I keep wondering how she is, if she ate or is the place she’s sleeping clean and safe…

Some Wall-Mounted Lights..

We’ve been shopping around for some light fixtures particularly wall-mounted lights because we want to install a couple of pieces in our house. We want to have two in our bedroom so it could double as reading light, a few in the living room area to highlight some wall decor and also one in the bathroom.

I’ve also been browsing online shops for some designs so I’d have an idea which one to pick when we go out and I just love these..

Wood Floorings Makes Me Think Of…

Mountains. Fireplaces. Rugs… What is it about wood flooring that makes me want to snuggle near a warm fire. Provided its snowing outside. Lol! I am day dreaming again.

Hubby and I are planning on fixing our present house to add another room at the back for our daughter and to fix the driveway and a small office. We’ve been talking and planning and hopefully we could start the project late this year. As of this time, were thinking about what we need to add, what are the possibilities since the place is a bit small.

Initially we both wanted wood floorings but since the whole house already have good quality granite tile floorings I’m not sure we want to switch everything to wood. Hmmm, I just hope we could get everything right. Renovating a home costs a lot so we have some planning in our hands .

Self-Defense Products for Women

Nowadays, people are more mobile and women most specially are no longer confined just at home. The more we go out, the more we are at risk too. Come to think of it, these times, even at home you are no longer safe. A lot of people too live on their own so safety as well as being able to defend oneself is really important.

After I graduated from college, I went out on my own to Manila far from my province and the protection of my parents. I had an office job and I would usually come home late at night. I shared a flat with an officemate but our schedules differ too so I end up spending most times alone at home too.

It could be scary coz our apartment building didn’t have any security and at times I would think what if somebody gets in, a thief or worse a rapist.. That’s why we always think about out how secure the place is, all doors and windows should be locked, I’m always ready to scream at the top of my lungs in case there is an intruder and I bought some self defense products like pepper sprays which I always carry around and we also had self-defense alarms installed in our apartment.

Thankfully, I have never encountered a situation where I needed those things or to defend myself. But still, I felt better that I took precautions.

Visiting a Filipino Home..Tips and Insights.

A few Cambodian friends of my husband have asked me about Filipino culture, particularly about our food, the weather, how to get around the country, how come we speak English fluently, and also how to behave when visiting a Filipino household.

Thinking about it, there is not much difference in visiting a Filipino home from a Khmer home. Here’s some tips on being a proper guest of a Filipino family.

- Always pay your respects to the elders in the family by greeting them. It’s an additional point in your favor if you can do the “mano” where you lift the elder’s hand and touch it to your forehead. For Filipinos, this is a sign of regard and respect to the elder.

- Remove your shoes or slippers before entering a Filipino house. Your host would most probably tell you to keep it on, but at least make a motion of removing them.

- Filipinos are very food-oriented and most visits and gatherings includes food. If you are visiting a Filipino home, expect to be offered something to eat. Don’t decline the invitation to eat otherwise you may be considered impolite.There are times like fiestas where you have already eaten in another house, but its still better to accept or you may just request to eat dessert or light snacks.

- Always offer to help clear the dishes. Your host would probably decline your offer of help but the gesture would be appreciated.

- When your visit is over, give your good wishes to the elders and thank everyone for their hospitality. If you have stayed in the house for a couple of days, a thank you gift would be a nice gesture.

Whatever they are rich or poor, Filipinos would really go out of their way to be welcoming and friendly to their guests, that’s why for most people, visiting a Filipino home is a delightful experience.

Cleaning Obsessed – Me?

I am an obsessive cleaner. I can’t stand it if the house is in chaos and dusty. Hi-ace says I am weird coz’ after I had breakfast in the morning, I would usually go barefoot on the living room and the other rooms just so I could check if the floor needs another round of polishing. If the floor feels a little sticky or has small grains of sand or dust I would really feel uneasy about it and would really need to clean it with a damp rag and polish it with a floor cleaner.

In the kitchen too as well as the bathroom I love scrubbing the sinks as well as the tiles as I hate seeing molds there. Disinfectants and deodorizers are my cleaning buddies when it comes to kitchen and bath cleaning.

My daughter and I both has asthma so I don’t like have dusty bookshelves tv stands and cabinets around the house. These stuff really accumulates a lot of dust and if we don’t dust the shelves regularly, we end up always sneezing.

I probably wore out our furniture faster than other coz of too much obsessive cleaning. And now that I think about it, I probably wore out our previous house helpers too..:(

I’m Saving Up Like Mad for a …

I remember making a post about being madly “in love” with the latest wall-mounted LCD televisions.. Well, after badgering my husband for several weeks hehe he finally saw some light err finally saw it my way and I get to have my wish soon.

Now I have the license to salivate after other stuff and I set my heart on a fabulous home theater seating. Of course if I have my dream LCD TV I should be sitting in heavenly comfort while having my weekly DVD marathons. See the photo above? A lazy bone’s dream come true.. I can imagine myself sitting several hours on that watching a movie on a rainy Sunday afternoon..

Hmmm… That might wreak havoc on my fitness plans..But I guess we do deserve some pampering every now and then. My husband says, maybe next time I’ll be asking him to pop some popcorns!! Not a bad idea huh?!

My Pest Control Headaches Now Gone!

The previous house we had in Manila was a headache. The main reason we stayed there was because of its location. It was in a nice village, fronting the playground and park, surrounded by trees, it was also very near several malls, schools and medical centers.

The problem was the house has a lot of wood and it was infested with bugs and termites. While some pests like ants are small in number and could easily be controlled, termites was another case. We spent a good amount just for pest control. It could really be a nuisance and we were particularly annoyed when we leave the house for a couple of weeks just to return and find a moundful of termites eating out our closet and some clothes.

We have tried the services of several pest management companies and most of them would be effective for some months, then after that they would be back. Another concern we had was if the pest control being used was harmful to us and to our environment. Our safety, particularly that of our child was our topmost priority so we were really wary of the chemicals being used to treat the pests.

I’m glad now though that the “termite infested” house is out of hands now. Our new house has been treated for pests a couple of months before our move. So for now, those teeny weenie are the least of our concerns.

Beating Upholstery and Carpet Cleaning Woes

My mother is obsessed with fixing house interiors. So is my brother and it seemed this obsession has rubbed off me. I like fixing houses, rooms to give it a more cozy, homey and friendly atmosphere. Carpets and custom made upholstered furnitures  are just some of the fine ways to give a room a whole new look.

The problem though is that as much as I like decorating, I keep thinking this stuff really accumulates a lot of dirt and is difficult to clean. And for people like us who has asthma, well that could prove to be burdensome. So either I junk those carpets and upholstered furniture or devise a plan on how to keep this things clean so we could still enjoy it even if we have dust allergies.

• Prevention is still key. I mean with upholstery stains. Spills on furniture especially on those covered with fabrics can be really tough so as much as possible we avoid eating on the living room couches and in areas with carpets.
• Having seat covers are a big help. If it gets stained, remove it immediately so the furniture won’t absorb the spill.

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Getting to Know Feng Shui

Whenever I get the itch I usually turn our bedroom and living room tupsy turvy ;P meaning arrange it just to give it a different look but usually my husband would rearrange it and he keeps mumbling about good feng shui areas, positions etc. Hi-ace is Chinese and is a follower of feng shui teachings. I am Filipino and I am aware of feng shui and some practices (Philippines is certainly multi-cultural and we had been very influenced by Chinese in the country) but the extent of knowledge about this is superficial and I don’t have in depth know how of its practices and beliefs.

So I’ve been reading on it and researching alot so I’d at least be familiar with what is feng shui. What is feng shui? It’s such a simple question, a seemingly simple term yet it encompasses a wide body of knowledge that it is difficult to answer it. With this post I’ll be trying to explain what is feng shui.

Feng shui is an ancient art and science developed over 3,000 years ago in China. It’s a a body of knowledge that reveals how to balance the energies of any given space to assure the health and fortune for the people inhabiting the place.

The term “feng” means wind and “shui” means water. For Chinese, gentle wind and clear water have always been associated with good harvest and good health. Good feng shui means good livelihood and fortune while bad feng shui means hardship and misfortune.
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Tips on Being a Houseguest in a Foreign Home

One of the best ways to enrich ourselves with knowledge and experience is through traveling. Travel is one activity my family enjoys and strive to do at least every year. You can learn a lot about a place by visiting not just their famous tourist areas but more so the place where the locals hang out. Whenever I visit another place, I like trying out their local food and roaming around their markets and places of worship.

Another great way to experience the lifestyle and customs of another country is to be a house guest. You’ll be able to observe their customs and traditions at a closer range and though it may take some efforts to be connect with people from different cultures, but it would be worth the effort since the friendship and the experience you’ll bring home is a priceless treasure.

Here’s some tips I’ve gathered here and there and from my own experiences.

• Before going on the trip, do some research. It’s really handy if you know a bit about the place where you’re going to. Check out local guidebooks, surf the internet and if you have friends who had been there, then ask them.

• Learn their appropriate gift-giving traditions of the place you will be visiting. Learn also on the appropriate behavior on interacting with men, women, children, elders. Read about their traditions and be a keen observer when you arrive. Example, in some Asian countries, touching a someone’s head especially a child’s head has a negative connotation. Learn about things like this so you won’t offend your hosts or embarrass yourself.

• If you get invited to someone’s home, limit your stay to just a few days. In short, don’t overstay your welcome. They might be obliged to urge you to stay longer but be considerate since having guests can be inconvenient and can cause a dent on your host’s family budget. (more…)

On Hiring Helpers

From the time I gave birth to my daughter till last year I always had a helper with me since I was still working and a baby needs a lot of attention and I couldn’t manage doing all household chores with the limited time I have. 2007 till now we did not have a helper around the house. I was still able to manage since my daughter is five already so she’s a bit more independent compared before and I was also working from home with my fashion accessory business. I’ve been on the lookout for a helper since mid-last year but with not much luck and on the verge of giving up. A good and reliable househelp is really a gem and they are not easy to find.

I personally prefer helpers from personal referrals by friends and relatives rather than getting them through employment agencies. I’ve been contemplating checking employment agencies, but I am wary of being scammed.

A good friend suggests checking the agency’s background and understanding the contract before signing anything.

• is it tried and tested? better choose an agency referred by friends too.
• check government agencies like Department of Labor, Bureau of Internal Revenue if its a legitimate operation.
• do the candidates have NBI and medical clearances?

On deciding who to hire, evaluate the following:

1. Skills and work experience. I prefer those with experience but alas those gems are hard to get by too. They should have the necessary skills since I don’t really have much time to supervise them.
2. Personal Background. Ask about her family. Her education, etc. Is she the breadwinner? This will give you a clue on her maturity level and her expectations. From my experience, helpers who have small kids, would most often as for long vacations, advances etc.
3. Physical appearance. I’m not suggesting you discriminate, but do weigh in if she is neat, is she dressed like a pop-star? If you’re looking for a baby-sitter, put great consideration on how your child would receive her.